Originally published for a nineteenth-century British literature course. Ignore the madness. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, overall I have nothing against your “Kubla Khan;” I must even admit that I like-slash-love it, but that doesn’t mean that I have no issues with it. So, in an effort to move towards making a point, here they are: According [...]

“On your left you have a God who is all-knowning and omnipotent, and on your right you have a book that contains more errors than a Lindsay Lohan post-it. The left, being omniscient, omnipotent and living outside time, has no ability to change his mind; the right, being from human origin, contains more changes of opinion, mind and action than a Diana Ross show contains dress changes.”

Once there was a time I considered Mischa Barton and Lindsay Lohan to be fine actresses. Barton has this whole weird-body thing going for her, plus the fact that she always seems depressed and lonely. She has some limits to her acting because of this, but somehow she’s able to mesmerize me. I have to [...]