Originally published for a nineteenth-century British literature course. Ignore the madness.

In my short, but incredibly prosperous and famous existence, I have read Brontë’s Wuthering Heights many times—the last time I did so was about six months ago—and yes, that means I haven’t re-read it for the course. Whatever. Did you guys see the Academy Awards? I swear, Elizabeth Banks, Tina Fey and Barbra Streisand were the only ones who did know how to present something. You would think being an actor/actress would make you a great presenter—all you do is read of a teleprompter and/or memorise a—badly written (again)—script—but alas. So, anyway, because I’m better at memorising things than Miley Cyrus—what the hell was she doing at the Academy Awards, for the second time, anyway? Stupid ABC pushing those Disney princesses—there was no point in me re-reading the novel.

… Now, where was I? Oh, right, the last time was about six months ago, and every single time I read it I have loved it. There’s something about the witchcraft brew of violence, love, family and nature that livens a read. Read More »

A year ago, if you had asked me which film would win the 82nd Academy Awards top-prize, I would have answered that Nine was most definitely one of the contenders. The Weinstein Company had a sure-fire winner on their release schedule. An Academy Award-winning director with a Best Picture musical in his name; a cast of brilliant actresses, lead by a greatly-talented lead actor; and it had the advantage of being one of the few big-budget musicals out there.

Buzz was everywhere, and there was little that could go wrong for the Weinsteins. Until, people actually saw the film. It was a reminder to the world that a film cannot rely solely on the talent of its cast and crew; a great film, a film worthy of an Academy Award nomination and win, a critically-acclaimed motion picture that will be remembered for decades to come, needs the whole package. Nine toyed around with its talent; without a good foundation, lacking that solid screenplay that should have held everything together, the film flopped.

Today, the 82nd Academy Awards ceremony will be held in the Kodak Theatre, and, in my opinion, we can already call it a success: this year’s Best Picture nominees, each and every one, deserves to win more than last year’s slumdog win. They might not all be as good—The Blind Side and Inglourious Basterds—but these films, at least, will stand the test of time better than Slumdog Millionaire has.

But enough stalling—let’s get down to my predictions and, most importantly, which films are in my opinion the best of 2009. Read More »

Originally published for a nineteenth-century British literature course. Ignore the madness.

Back in the day, when my face was without wrinkles, and when Kelly Rowland still had a steady paycheck and a real manager, I had a friend who dated a very obnoxious guy. He was nice to look at—which we did—we, meaning I—I, meaning, well, I—and could tell a killer date story—somehow that sounds like he’s a date raper. He wasn’t, at least, I don’t think he was. Maybe that was how they met! Though, I think she would have told me that she met him on a date-rape if that was the case, because it’s a way too awesome detail to leave out of an otherwise boring story.

Where was I? Oh, right. He was good-looking and had the ability to tell a nice evening story. Unfortunately, the list of positives ended there. On his negative side, he had: rudeness, homophobe, jock, and dumb-as-W. But, she liked him, and she wanted to make it work. Being a good and loyal friend, I told her to end it and made his daily life a living hell—being a fool, I encouraged her rehabilitation program. Read More »

Originally published for a nineteenth-century British literature course. Ignore the madness.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge, overall I have nothing against your “Kubla Khan;” I must even admit that I like-slash-love it, but that doesn’t mean that I have no issues with it. So, in an effort to move towards making a point, here they are:

According to good-pal Wikipedia, my love letters to Jared Leto are completely pointless, even though I could have sworn that it was a natural law that anything Lindsay Lohan touches automatically is turned into a gay-extravaganza, but, there he is, being all straight and non-gay, and, to be honest, I don’t even know why I’m still sending him those letters after having seen his plus-sized version in the dreadful Chapter 27. I mean, the film’s script alone still gives me nightmares, but on top of that, seeing him, with his hamster-face and weird gestures, trying to act in what was supposed to be a dramatic feature of quality; why, oh, why?

… Wait, when did this post turn into an episode of Ricky Lake? Read More »

That wonderful time of year has arrived again, when the Academy announces the highest nomination honour in the motion picture industry. Taking into account the rule-book changes they introduced this year, you could say that the nominations are more exciting than last years—however, let’s not stress those changes, and rather focus on the actual nominations.

No big surprises this year, not even with ten Best Picture nominations. The Blind Side being nominated for Best Picture could be considered a mild surprise, but the rest of the nominees were set-in-stone for months. The Princess and the Frog not receiving a Best Original Score nomination was somewhat odd, but the two Best Original Song ones kind-of balance it out.

Overall, Avatar and The Hurt Locker received the most Academy Award nominations—nine. Again, not a surprise. Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds received eight, previous-darling-put-to-shame Nine only four (including only one for the music—a travesty for a musical), my favourite of the year, Precious, received Best Picture, Best Actress and Supporting Actress, Best Directing, Editing, and Adapted Screenplay nominations (six), the same as Up in the Air with Clooney a Best Actor nominee, Pixar’s Up followed in the footsteps of WALL-E and received five Golden Boy nominations, and Star Trek received three technical nominations.

Best Picture

• Avatar (James Cameron and Jon Landau)
• The Blind Side (Gil Netter, Andrew A. Kosove and Broderick Johnson)
• District 9 (Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham)
• An Education (Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey)
• The Hurt Locker (Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Nicolas Chartier and Greg Shapiro)
• Inglourious Basterds (Lawrence Bender)
• Precious (Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness)
• A Serious Man (Joel and Ethan Coen)
• Up (Jonas Rivera)
• Up in the Air (Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman)

Read More »

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