The Roman Catholic Residue

An integral part of our vacations had always been visiting architectural and cultural buildings. I cannot remember a single summer holiday in which we just vacationed and relaxed. The usual suspects always came up in our agenda: musea, historical cities, landscapes of importance, palaces, castles and châteaux, and of course, churches.

Now, I wasn’t brought up in a religious family, so we didn’t go to the churches to pray or to honour God. No, it was to admire and appreciate the architectural feat — though my sister did neither. Because the Mediterranean countries represent the best European holiday places, we always visited Roman Catholic churches.¹ Including two of the most sacred Latin places: the Domain in Lourdes, France, and (of course) the Basilica of Saint Peter.

Every single time I have entered a Catholic church, cathedral or basilica I have felt this gust of respect and familiarity blowing around me. This isn’t that strange when you consider that I have been baptised a Roman Catholic and that I was educated in that religion, but it is weird when you take into account that I still get the feeling when I visit a Catholic church today. And I’m most-definitely an atheist now, strongly against any type of religion and on top of that, de facto excommunicated from the Latin Church.

I don’t get that feeling when entering any other church or religious institution. Heck, every time I have entered a Protestant church (which isn’t often), this eerie feeling of traitorousness, disgust and disrespect comes over me, whether I want it to or not. In elementary history class I still remember them pounding on the heretic side of the Reformation (Protestants would be continually referred to as “ketters” or “heathens”), so the impregnated feeling must come from deep inside. To the same extent, why do I keep believing the Roman Catholic church is the only church of God, when I strongly disbelieve in God and when I think religion is a brooding place for evil?

When John Paul II was pope, I actually sort-of admired and loved him. Sure, we didn’t share many (semi-)political ideas and social concepts — I’m pro-choice, think homosexuality is normal, not against artificial contraception and, most importantly, atheist — but I still had respect for the man. He made the church seem somewhat agreeable with his kind nature, even though in actuality the Vatican (and religion in general) was still a stuck-up, old-fashioned, dogmatic and outdated institution.

I’m not quite sure what I’m trying to say with all this. It’s certainly not an announcement that I’m going back to being religious, and most-definitely not an admittance that I once again believe in God (if I have ever). I think I’m trying to transmit my believes that religious education is a bad thing, parallel to a religious upbringing. At that age, no one is really equipped to challenge the dogmas that are being pounded into their brain, so it is unfair to do so.

Richard Dawkins has called it similar to “child abuse,” and while I don’t totally agree with him on that one, I do think impregnating your children with dogmas could hurt their future and their ability of rational thought. A child isn’t occupied with the existence of God, why and how Jesus suffered for humankind’s sins, and how God basically punished Job for his loyalty. Children just want to play and have a good time — they shouldn’t be subjected to anything other than secular love, joy and scientific education. Leave their minds absent from dogmas so that they themselves can choose what to believe and what to reject.

Though I’m an atheist now, there is a possibility that thanks to my educational past I’ll probably never lose the residue respect I have for Rome. These strange notions that you can only communicate with a non-existent being in the sky through the Roman Catholic church will probably always exist somewhere in my mind, regardless of how hard I try to stomp on them and notwithstanding how fiercely I disbelieve. Well, there is a chance they’ll disappear after I have been abducted and tortured by the Vatican for my continuing heresy. Just maybe they’ll go then.