It’s a quiet, boring night. While watching “Gossip Girl,” I’m trying to come up with something interesting to write about, and my mind stays completely blank. There is no sense of initiative in me today, or yesterday, or the day before that even. A creativity block? Not really, because I do have ideas for original stories, and enough is going on in the world to bitch and rant about, so it can’t be that.

Perhaps I’ll just do a quick run through of everything that has been bothering me. Yes, that’ll help.

One, stop bitching about recession this, recession that, people! When people start losing their confidence in the economy and stop spending, it is pretty obvious that there will be an economic recession, yes. Shouting “Great Depression” on every opportunity isn’t helping! Keeping your mouth shut, softly whispering into people’s ears that nothing is wrong and going on with your life, will help! Also, stop acting like the world is going to end because of it. Have you been to Africa lately? They have real recessions, we don’t. The only thing you’ll have to cut out of your budget because of the bad economy is “luxury spending”; spending they don’t have the luxury for! (Wow, bad pun.)

Two, I do not want to hear anything about Barack Obama or John McCain for the next couple of decades. Yes, McCain is a douchebag, but do you people really think Obama will be up to it? He’s the biggest populist wuss to run for office since… a very long time! He’ll do a better job than McCain, but isn’t that a bit stating the obvious? As if Republicans are good at anything! (Yes, I’ll admit they’re good at God-hugging, ignorance, intolerance, money-grubbing and stupidity. All right.)

Three, what is up with this socialist movement in the economic world? Nationalising banks left and right is not, and I repeat, not the way to spend taxes! I’m a social democrat, and I believe in a social government when it comes to unemployment, healthcare, education, etc. Yet, when it comes to the economy, I’m very liberal. An open market economy means an open market economy. When the market decides that a company needs to go bankrupt, let it go bankrupt. Let the market decide which players it wants to support, and let the market decide who wins and fails. Make a goddamn choice: do you want an open market economy or a planned economy? What will it be, suckers? Mixed economies are no good! (Laissez-faire for the world!)

Four, can we please stop caring about these Christians who need to flee areas in the Middle East¹ because of violence? Now you see how it is to be the prey instead of the hunter! Suck it up!

Five, did I just really say that? Damn, I must be growing pretty intolerant against Christians… Also, “suckers”?

Six, I had an English literature exam today and (what? I can’t talk about my own personal life?) man it was hard! Well, not really “hard” but more “long.” It was divided into three questions, each representing one of the disciplines: poetry, drama and prose. They gave you a quotation from a text and then presented a case in their question. You had to answer with an essay of about 500 words. Yes, 500 words each. Handwritten. In two hours. And yes, it also had to be properly formatted, so neat, tidy and clean. Which means I had to write 1,500 words, and then rewrite it in formal hand again. 3,000 words in two hours. WOW.

Seven… seven? Damn! *cough*… Seven, I hate meeting new people. I trusted this one guy with a lot of my personal things; secrets, how I dealt with my depression — the whole inner-emotional works. And I thought he would be interested in a friendship also, at least he made it seem so. Then, when I was just about to fall for him, I reminded myself of past experiences and that keeping my guard up would be best. Then… I fell for him. So how is our relationship now? DEAD. Well, at least to me it is. I’m sorry, but I just don’t have that much of an emotional cushion to fall back on every time I feel betrayed, misled or ignored. I have no time for on-off-on-off-on-off-relationships. Goodbye!

Eight, I have these very exclusive invitations to go testdrive a Volkswagen Scirocco, but I don’t know what to do with them. I hate and despise Volkswagen and everything it stands for, being brought up in a Renault family. But these are pretty exclusive invites…

Nine, I think I’m done for today. Thank you for experiencing this totally random and totally disorganised rant. Goodnight! (Have moved on from “Gossip Girl” to “How I Met Your Mother” in the mean time. If this episode doesn’t wow me, I’m so going to dump their motherly asses.²)